Limits card

Hard limits are the things you won’t do. Soft limits are the things you might do, but only after a real conversation, or only with the right person on the right day. Everything else is open to discussion. That’s the whole system, and it works better on a card than in your memory, because memory gets unreliable at exactly the wrong moments.

Fill in the fields above. The card is built in your browser, and nothing gets sent to us or saved. You can download the image or print it, then hand it to a partner before you play or tuck it into your wallet for a munch or a party.

What to put on it

Start with your hard limits, and be specific. “Nothing too intense” is hard for anyone to act on, while “no marks above the collar line” is easy. If you’re not sure where to begin, the kink list makes a good first draft: anything you marked no belongs here, and anything you marked maybe might be a soft limit.

Add anything a partner should know before touching you. That might be an old shoulder injury, a medical condition, a word you hate hearing, or a part of your body that’s off limits. You don’t owe anyone your full history, only what they need so they don’t hurt you by accident. Your own doctor is the right person to ask about anything health-related.

Then pick your words. Most people use a safeword that means stop and another that means slow down. If talking might be difficult during a scene, add a signal you can give with your hands, and practice it beforehand.

Limits change

Your limits belong to you, and you can change them whenever you like, in either direction, without explaining why. A hard limit can become a soft one a year from now, and a soft one can turn hard in the middle of a scene. Make a new card when that happens. A partner who treats your card as a dare, or who argues with it, has told you something important, and our consent guide has more on what to do about that.